The Virtue of Self-Denial

The following excerpt is taken from "The Duties of Parents" by Jacobus Koelman. I couldn't say it any better than him:

"Accustom (your children) early to being submissive. Do not allow them to follow their own wills and minds. Do not let them have their own way when you have told them that your judgement and opinion are opposed to theirs. Teach them early the virtue of self-denial. Take care not to surrender to what they want. When they stubbornly insist on their way, resist it, for "children left to themselves disgrace their mothers" (Prov. 29:15). If you almost always let them have their own way, they get so used to it that they cannot tolerate the exception. In that case, they cannot bear to have any authority over them because they cannot bear having their will frustrated. Being obedient implies that they forsake their own will and allow themselves to be guided by the will of their parents.

If you accustom them to having their own way, you are teaching them to be disobedient, and, in time, they become so hard that they are never able to obey. Therefore, bring them up by demanding strict obedience to you, and do not follow their misguided desires, as the mother of James and John did (Matt. 20:20-21).